What now?

As I contemplate what else can be thrown into the mix

I seem to find myself taking a big breath every day and saying ‘what now?’ It seems to have been a hell of a week with the small stuff and the big world stuff dominating my What Now list.

The hospital visits

I took my brother to two different hospitals in Glasgow last week which was an adventure in itself. The M8 is horrendous and pretty much a car park in the mornings and afternoons so we cut off at Stirling and went cross country. All good so far and we found the first hospital. It is always very strange going somewhere new in a city that you grew up in but we had to be serious and not get lost as he was finally getting to meet a proper consultant. All good with the consultant chat then we found the X ray department. I am aware that hospitals bring in all sorts of people from all parts of the area but is it really OK to delve into a full meal in a waiting room? One guy sat eating a sandwich, crisps, biscuits - the works while I tried to not freak out over the crunching and crumb dropping. I had to stop my inner matron from telling him off as we are in an actual clinical hospital. Is that just me?! I know. I know. I was just deflecting from the fact that I was waiting on my brother and was so worried for him. I also had no control over what he was going through. X rays done we drove over to the next hospital. Somewhere near Loch Lomond. Again, not a hospital we had been to before. We drove up and parked and went to find the maternity unit as apparently the endoscopy unit is in the same building. Cue both my brother and I having flashbacks and funny/not funny horror stories of our experiences with rubbish births. It did make us laugh though as the hospital looked like the hospitals we knew from the 70’s and 80’s. We were back in time so warned each other not to drink the water in case of legionnaires disease or breathe near the roof because of asbestos. You really have to go dark with the humour when you are freaking out about your brother getting a tube with a camera and robot scraping things stuck down his throat. Deflect from reality at all times with humour is our family go to. Once we had passed the heavily pregnant women sitting in the waiting room and gave them hugely empathic vibes as what they were about to go through is hell on earth we got the lift to the 4th floor and endoscopy. We were met by a lovely nurse who whisked my nervous brother away and assured me he would be fine and to come back at 3pm. Ooft. OK. There is nothing I can now do. I went off to find the shop and get a sandwich and cup of tea. Now really. This is an actual hospital with actual people in it so I would have thought it would have had an actual shop like Ninewells hospital in Dundee has. There was no selection of flowers, presents, newspapers etc just a choice of 3 sandwiches and a good crisp option. No sign of tea or coffee. Not to worry. Once I had by passed the sandwich that said cheese (vegan) - no thank you. What even is vegan cheese made of? There was also a funny looking ham sandwich so I settled on the most likely to not kill me option of tuna with a packet of walkers crisps and went back to the car. I know you may be thinking that I am a hypocrite for eating in the car after I endured the man eating in the x ray waiting room but at least it is in private and I didn’t drop any crumbs. A couple of hours passed and I went up to get my brother. He came out accompanied by the nurse and I rushed up and gave him a huge hug. ‘You made it!’ They both laughed. ‘of course I did’ he said. The drive back up the road was filled with stories of how he watched them actually do the endoscopy for a bit and how he is very drugged up. All I could do was drive safely, listen and keep offering him lucozade. The what is going on and the why will hopefully be answered in a few weeks…

The news

What now seems to be my thinking anytime I hear the news or open my phone to a news alert. What has Trump done now? What is Israel doing? What? Why? Is there a plan? What about all the innocent people involved in all the countries? How long will this last? Why can’t people negotiate and be kind? What? Why?…

My friend comes for a coffee

I haven’t seen this particular friend for a while so when she asked if she could come around for a coffee. I was delighted. However, her news was not good. She is leaving her husband as he has been lying to her for years. What he has been doing is awful but it is her that has to move out, close her business and start again. What? Why?

First 5pm gin and tonics outside in the sun this year. Where there is gin there is joy and hope!

The good news was that we got our first 5pm gin and tonic in the sun this week! Home made Findowie Gin too. I think I really like this particular batch.

The days are getting longer and we have even had glimpses of sunshine and warmer weather. The oyster catchers, lapwings and curlews are all back so a good sign of warmer more joyous days to come.

Who knows what will come up next and why but hopefully it will be more joyous and happier things.

Thank you for reading to the end x